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Jump!

I keep seeing all these stories posted up online or in the news about people with autism. They are all stories of success and hope. They talk about being diagnosed at the age of two, and not talking or making contact with the outside world at all, but now they’re performing Shakespeare and doing complex algebraic equations at the local university.

What am I supposed to take from those stories?

Because we haven’t had any of those amazing success stories. We’ve had long, slow, and not even steady progress. From what I can tell, when Simon was five, he was on a two-year-old level. Now he’s 12, and he’s maybe at a four-year-old-level.

But will he have any more future movement? Or is this it?

We stopped his outside OT and Speech (he still gets it at school) because he wasn’t getting anywhere. He’d hit a wall.

He still surprises us some days, but other days it’s like there hasn’t been any changes in years. We still don’t have actual conversations. We still have to test him to see if he means what he says by re-asking questions and asking questions in different ways. He still does lots of “TV talk,” and while some of it might be slightly more appropriate, not all of it is, and, in fact, most of it isn’t.

But with his medication to handle his anxiety and aggression, he’s happy.

Shouldn’t we all be happy then?

Is achievement the only way to be happy?

What is happiness when it comes to this?

And who decides all this crap about what is “good” and what is “success”?

I know, this blog asked a lot more questions than it answered. But they’re all important questions. And, honestly, I think the questions are almost more important than the answers. Because the answers aren’t there. Not yet. And they may never be there. We won’t know what he does until he does it. We won’t know what “success” is until we’ve achieved it.

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