Question Mark Man! Image by pakorn via freedigitialphotos.net

Image by pakorn via freedigitialphotos.net

So this morning, I had to leave my design class because of ignorance so extreme that it was either walk away, cry, or turn to violence.

Since violence is not the answer (unless you want to get it wrong on purpose), and if I’m going to cry, I don’t want it to be in a college classroom. Instead, I went out and sat on the steps.

Why?

Because one of my fellow students made a statement about another student – one she shared another art class with:
“She’s like special needs. She’s so annoying.”

When I tried to explain that equating “annoying” and “special needs” is not cool, and that she didn’t understand what she was talking about, she said that she didn’t want to say anything by accident and would like to be educated.

I again tried to tell her that her statement was insulting – that she was saying that special needs equaled annoying, but she kept defending her statement, saying it wasn’t meant to be insulting. It was that this girl in her other class was just so special needs and annoying.

The annoying part of this other girl, it seems, is that she doesn’t follow directions and does her own thing. The teacher doesn’t correct her, but this girl in my class feels the need to “help” by correcting her.

Now, if the girl in question truly is special needs, there may be a reason the teacher lets the girl not quite follow directions. There may be a reason the girl can’t follow directions. And, regardless of whether this girl is special needs or not, there may be something at play that the teacher knows and the students don’t. There may be a reason that the girl does not follow directions. And it’s no one else’s business if that is the case.

After a few attempts at educating her about the fact that she is being insulting by discussing why special needs people are annoying, I gave up because she clearly does not understand. I pointed out my son was autistic, that I knew many people on the spectrum, that her judgment of others who were not like her was closed-minded and would upset many people, and she just kept repeating that she didn’t mean it to be insulting. It was just that this girl was annoying.

Then her friend sitting next to her says, “Well I was reading this thing in my doctor’s office about autism, and some of the signs are when people are like obsessed with something and are like, what’s that word, you know – anti-social.”

By then, I was ready to bang my head on the desk just to get them to shut up. They had no idea what they were talking about, they were being insulting, and they were not interested in learning anything, regardless of their statements.

It’s now far enough removed that I can look back and just shake my head. There’s only so much I can do to educate others, and if they aren’t interested…if they truly believe that people who aren’t like them are “annoying,” I have only one thing to say at this point:
If you don’t like someone and you find them annoying, leave them alone.
Stop equating special needs with annoying because, let me tell you, what is really annoying is your judgment of non-neurotypical individuals when you have no knowledge to base that judgment on.

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