Autism Awareness BlogSo I had this crazy idea. What if I posted a blog here every day for the month of April?

My way of sharing, with you, the thoughts, ideas, and experiences that we have in our life with our son.

Spend the month of April reading the highlights of my days (and sometimes nights).

Today…

Today I did something to make me feel like a bad mother.

I had class all day, and Simon had SIRE horseback riding tonight.

But this week has been a crazy week, I’m still trying to catch up from being sick and then going to College Station for business…basically I’m behind on everything. I haven’t written blogs, fiction, articles. I haven’t listed jewelry and books. I haven’t made jewelry and books. It’s been nothing but trying to get through each day. Obviously, a bit of a problem.

I didn’t go to his horseback riding.

I came home from school (after they’d already left), and I settled in, trying to move all my stuff off the counters, organize things from my trip, and, of course, do lots of writing. Like this blog.

Every time I miss one of Simon’s events or activities, though, I feel guilty. And I already missed his gymnastics class this week because I had a meeting at the exact same time.

Just a few minutes ago, he came home. He was happy, he was excited, he wanted a hug, and when I asked him if he had fun, he said yes.

My guilt? Totally pointless. He had gotten everything he wanted.

I know that lots of parents would probably feel guilty in the same situation, but would I feel as guilty if he was a typically developing kid?

Would I spend all this time beating myself up for “missing out” on things where he doesn’t even really care if I’m there to begin with? (Because, let me tell you, when it comes time to go horseback riding, I don’t even rank in the top three important things in his life. Number one is the horse. Number two is also the horse. Number three is still the horse. His parents? Yeah, we might come in around number nine or 10…)

Tomorrow is, of course, another day. April 2. Autism Awareness Day (as part of Autism Awareness Month). Please be sure to check back, and please don’t ‘Light it Up Blue.’ Walk in Red instead!

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