Life, Autism, Disability, and More

Monthly Archives: October 2015

I watched a lot of the Odd Couple when I was growing up. What that says about the parenting in my house, I won’t say. But I will say that whenever people make an assumption, I immediately think of Felix.

I got to think of that about a week ago when we took Simon out to a gem and mineral show. They had all sorts of cool stuff: fossils, meteorites, stones, gems, finished jewelry, and some people from various organizations showing off how to do cool things with all those bits and pieces.

One of the people doing demonstrations was a woman who was showing off how to polish up stones. She was talking about how to make facets, and she began going into the math of it: how many turns on the dial did you need and some other stuff I should remember but don’t.

She asked a math problem. It was basic multiplication, trying to figure out how to select the right number on the dial.

Patrick answered, and she semi-chastised him, telling him that she was asking Simon because it was a math problem appropriate for a 5th grader.

We blew it off, and we wandered into the showroom to look at all the pretty things to buy.

But it stuck with me, and it soured the day a bit.

First off, Simon isn’t in the fifth grade. He’s in the seventh grade, although he was held back and technically should be in the eighth grade. That’s neither here nor there, though. The point is, he’s older than the supposed “correct” age for the question.

Second, why would a random stranger assume she knows what level my son is at math? Or what level any child is at math? For all she knows, he has dysgraphia and struggles quite seriously with math. Maybe he has severe anxiety, and even asking him a math question would give him a panic attack.

Now, I’m not suggesting that people should all stop interacting at the risk of insulting each other. But I am suggesting that perhaps sometimes the parents know best, and if they jump in and answer a question instead of letting their child do it, perhaps they actually are doing it for a reason. Perhaps assuming that the child is capable of doing something just because you perceive the child to be the right age or the right height or the right whatever…well, maybe you shouldn’t assume. Because we know what happens what you assume, thanks to Felix.